Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Pour Moi?

People very rarely cook for me, I'm one of those dreadful "foodies" that my fabulous friends would rather not cook for at the risk of an embarrassing error.
Sam is one of my closest friends and in the long years I have known him he hasn't even made me so much as toast - I love him nonetheless, he sings me songs and makes me mix tapes instead so we're good.
Duncan is a funny man, (literally - he's a comedian) a super chum and is breaking the mould by insisting on cooking for me even though I have just invited myself round to his house and made him pick me up from the other side of Bristol in rush hour.
I eagerly stood in the kitchen to the sound of the Pretenders playing loudly from the dining room record player. I offered to wash the courgettes. Big mistake. I have never seen such an expression. He looked at me in such a way... I honestly thought that he had somehow telepathically received the news that a close friend had come to some hideous end or that he was having a kind of internal fit. After an unhealthy pause he just said through gritted teeth " I was going to cook for you".
I apologised for the faux pas - I only wanted to show willing and offer assistance, I did the only decent thing and ran upstairs to collect the book I was reading (21 stories by Graham Greene) and curled up in the dining room. He wasn't really cross but I thought it best to keep a low profile for a bit. When the Pretenders finished I put on Supertramp, and Duncan served up a perfect plate of risotto.


  1. Think you've like damaged the floor of the internet, probably when you dropped that massive hint, yeah?

    It's true though I can't actually recall ever making you a cup of tea. I'm such an idle bastard.

    Making Dhal in the week shall I spoon some into an envelope and post it to you?

    Sam K x x x

  2. You're the person I cook with though Sammy. You were a super opponent in our great british menu style cook off and brilliant when we made that roast for Herr Townsend in Hamburg - remember the crumble in a saucepan?
    Anyway fellow foodie, enough stroking of your ego; get some of that Dhal in a jiffy bag!